Military Rank Structure

August 19, 2007

Okay it’s time for a few laughs. I thought this one was pretty darn funny. Those of you in the Military will understand and appreciate the humor.

1. A General = Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and gives policy to God.

2. A Colonel = Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful that a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm and talks to God.

3. A Lieutenant Colonel = Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster that a speeding BB, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool and talks to God if a special request is approved.

4. A Major = Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.

5. A Captain = Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog paddle and talks to animals.

6. A First Lieutenant = Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed and talks to water.

7. A Second Lieutenant = Falls over door sill when trying to enter buildings, says “Look at the choo-choo,” wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.

8. An enlisted soldier = Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, freezes water with a single glance…. and is God.


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